Unhealthy relationship…ish…

Dear Diary,

I think I’ve become an abusive girlfriend.
Himself came home about 2 hours ago, very pissed, after joining his former shift mates for their Christmas night do.
It didn’t take long for him to start rambling about boats. And his desire to head off on a boat. And if I loved him I’d join him or at the very least wait for the THREE YEARS it would take him to get around the world or whatever it is that he fancies this week.
I gave him a warning.
Then a second.
Then I threatened him.
Finally, when I could bear it no more…I did the unthinkable.
I put on the first Twilight film.
He tried to punish me – sent me a photo of a dream boat…but quickly realised that he wouldn’t win that war.
He’s too squiffy to realise that he could always take himself to bed. And is currently counting the number of times that she bites her lip. He’s up to 30.

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